I Love Nude Selfies
They make me love my changing body.
Selfie by Chris. I loving my body these days. Technically, I can go topless outside because I am still “M,” but I don’t.
I used to not like to see pictures of myself. I always felt like I did not look good. It was a lot like hearing my voice in a tape recorder. It just was not me. But, it was. My image is what people see. My voice is what they hear.
Now that I’ve been transitioning for a while (even before starting HRT where things really got real), I have been enjoying taking selfies.
Even if I not looking 100 percent perfect, I love the way I look. I am getting excited seeing the little incremental changes over time. I am not afraid or embarrassed to look at myself in a mirror.
I also like the way I look without makeup. Maybe a little mascara and lipstick, but it’s nice to go natural and feel comfortable.
I feel attractive to myself.
I smile more.
My therapist mentioned I have been looking happier.
Sunshine Zombiegirl said I was glowing in a reply to one of my earlier posts. I would link to it, but I’m writing on my phone, so it is harder than if I was on the laptop and can have multiple tabs open.
I like my voice, even if I do not like to hear it on recordings, unless I do a lot of takes. People have said they like it. Maybe they are being polite, but I’ll take a complement!
However, I will start working on a more feminine version for when I transition further as the estradiol and anti-T change my face and body.
I hope to have a voice like Abby Martin. She has a beautiful, deeper voice, but is feminine.
If I could pull it off, I would like to learn a Jeffree Star voice style as well. I think his (he refers to himself as he) voice is sexy as hell. The same for Morgan Bailey who I met last year. She has a lovely voice.
Morgan and me last September. Photo by Chris.
I love feeling good about myself.
I will start walking more so I can shed some pounds. It will also help me in general to get into better shape.
Part of my eating habits are associated with depression and anxiety. Since I have started HRT, I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin. I do not worry as much.
The last time I had an anxiety attack was right before I started HRT. I was scared and going over everything that was going to change.
I have spent so many years looking at the worst that could happen because of work and the need to mitigate risk and conduct due diligence.
Once, I took the plunge, I have felt completely different. I love the feeling. It do not suggest it for everyone, but if you are transgender, having your body chemistry match your mind does wonders for your mental health. It has for me.
I do not consider myself a narcissist. I love the way I look. I accept I am not perfect, but I am happy. And, being happy makes me feel beautiful.
And, I love that I can say I love you, and include myself. It feels great to say it all the time and hear it. It seemed like years can go by without hearing it, so I am sending it out there to you, and me.